“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30
Every time I read about how Jesus withdrew from the crowds, I understood about that sacred meeting with God, I didn’t see sabbath as religious but I saw the solitude as necessary, especially when it made me pour out all my thoughts, feelings, or the lack of emotions to Him, the things that plague my life and the attacks on my family… And then there was life outside home. It takes incredible amount and often extended of time before I can come clean before God.
Then Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to serve us; we weren’t made to serve the Sabbath. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath. He’s in charge!” Mark 2:27
Man was not made for the sabbath, but the sabbath was made for the man. How true, and in all the other things in our religious life as well. I have learnt hard lessons, readjusted to life, made mistakes, wrestled with the devil to come and declare a victory. But no, restoration still needs time. If you ever broken a rib and it healed, it’ll still be sore and ache at times. It’s the same you see, with you feeling not yourself at times and you realising this was how it all started - and hence I get overprotective of my life, thoughts and time.
“There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant—‘I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual’—you wouldn’t be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath; he’s in charge.” Matthew 12:6-8
I am blameless before God.
And that’s all that matters to me as long as God can see me through this.
I did not come to be institutionalised, I come to know God and my personal God is not only found in an institution.